Her Confession Excerpt: Their First Date

The following is an excerpt from the novel 'Her Confession'. The Kindle edition will be available for .99 on Amazon starting tomorrow July 11th.


So when I called his cell phone that evening before I left the City County Bldg., I hoped to just engage in that stimulating conversation over dinner. He answered on the third ring, “Rigo.” He said. “Hi, Rigo this is Ashara. I was wondering if you wanted to meet for dinner, this evening.” I have always been assertive and so I said this matter of fact as if I would still have a great dinner without him. He seemed rather eager and was quite accommodating. “Hey, I see you are still at the office. How about we meet at Zeeks over on Madison St.?” I did not know what Zeeks was and he told me it’s an old jazz club that’s been in Detroit for 75 years. Until he said this I had no idea he was into jazz. “They serve great soul food.” I agreed and we were set to meet at 7pm.

I was glad he introduced me to Zeeks. It was like a set of an old film. The lighting was dim and intimate. The whole place was like a big circle surrounding a small circle stage. There was a band playing old school jazz. That day I wore those shiny jeans that were in style back then, they were a metallic gray and I wore a thin clingy black sweater. There was a older gentleman in a gray suit at the door when I entered he said, “Good evening sister. Would you like the dining room?” I told him I was meeting someone there. He said, “Rigo?” Apparently he was a regular. He led me to a small circular booth in the middle of the restaurant near the stage. Rigo wasn’t there, but the gentleman assured me that is where he was sitting. I sat down and looked around. I like to observe people and locations. Zeeks is the kind of place that would make a great location for a film. I made a mental note of that. I wondered how much they would charge me to shoot there.

A few moments passed and I became a little impatient. There was a small fake flower arrangement on the table, a candle that wasn’t lit, and a little caddy with salt, pepper and sugar packets. I first segregated the packets. Then I moved the flowers to the other side of the candle. A waiter wearing the standard black slacks, white dress shirt and black bow tie stopped at my table and took the candle from me. He smiled and lit it for me. “Good evening, sista” I smiled and said hi. Then he just left. I guessed he wasn’t my server. Just as I wondered where is Rigo? He appeared looking quite handsome in brown slacks and a brown and crème shirt. He always looked neat and smooth like he came out of a GQ magazine.

“I see you found it. How do you like it?” He smiled and joined me in the booth. He had a smile that took ten years of his face. He looked his age, twenty-four, but when he smiled he looked boyish and very handsome. In the past month I had not remembered him so handsome. I must have been enthralled in work and school so much that he had slipped my mind.

“It’s nice. It has a nice vibe.“ I replied. He told me how he loved to come there and listen to the old jazz and just chill. We sat and talked a lot about everything. Rigo was passionate about everything. He talked a great deal; sometimes I could barely get a word in. I was enjoying myself though. We had been sitting there for about two hours when he asked me did I want to dance. I had been nursing my amaretto sour so long the ice was melted. There were only a few couples on the small dance floor. One couple was old and they looked very much in love. I guess he saw me smiling at them and figured I wanted to dance. But I was just thinking how they looked so content. I wondered how long had they been in love? Would I ever feel like that?

“Do you wanna dance?” he asked. The tingles I felt when he took me in his arms surprised me. His hands splayed at the small of my back and his cheek was next to mine. My body responded to his strongly. I felt instantly aroused and I couldn’t believe my feelings. He whispered, “You smell good.” I could feel his breath on my ear. “So do you,” I replied. Then he moved so that he was looking in my eyes and his lips were inches from mine. “What do you call that?” he asked. “What,” I replied mesmerized. I did not know he was still referring to my perfume. “Your perfume,” “Oh, it’s French, it was a gift, I forget how you pronounce it C’est something,” he cut me off by kissing me then. His lips were soft and his kiss was passionate. I couldn’t believe we were having this moment in public. I had never been an exhibitionist. But even though I thought these things, I did not push him away. I kissed him back and surrendered to the moment, the jazz music, the candlelight, and my very first taste of Rigo.

He walked me to my car and we did not want to part. He invited me to his apartment several times. He told me he lived in Ann Arbor and that I should come see his house. He explained that it was not that far, and I could get on 94 downtown and take it west. I could follow him, or he would drive and bring me back. It took all my will power that night not to go to his home. Rigo was so manipulative. He always had a way of explaining something that was not a good idea and yet make it seem rational. But I refused him that night. I could not drive thirty-five miles to and from his house and still go to class the next morning. So we kissed once more. This kiss was even more intimate and deep than the kiss at the club. It was like we didn’t want to end it, as if we were at the airport saying our goodbyes. I agreed to visit his condo the coming Friday.

Wisdom Cries Excerpt

A wise person knows that he or she does not possess all knowledge. So a wise person is always seeking more knowledge. The moment a person decides they have ‘arrived’ and are too proud to inquire of instruction is the moment they become a fool. Once a person asks for assistance they open themselves up to obtaining a solution. If you are too proud to disclose where you are lacking, you will remain at a fault. Many ‘proud’ people find themselves broken before they shed their foolish pride and get on with progress. “Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 18:12).

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Book Fetish

So last night my son Josiah hands me a piece of paper. It is a scholastic book fair 'wish list' that he got from school. In his 1st grader scrawl (which is quite legible) he has written the titles to five books that he would like. He says while pointing to number one, "Eight dollars, I have to give them that much to get that book. The others I would like but I really one that one, the Star Wars Heroes." I hesitate and slowly respond, I'm like, "Well Josiah perhaps I can order this later. I want to show you something called 'Amazon.com, I get free shipping, any book I want!" Josiah's look says he is not impressed. Then he explains, "The books are there, at the school all ready in the media center. If I just give them the 8 dollars they will give me the book right then." Then CJ says, "That is quite a bit of money for a little fella to be carrying around." I look at the list and ask, "Well is it 8 for each or for all?" Josiah says, "They told me 8 for that one so that's what I wrote down."



Then this morning he reminds me as he's getting ready for school and during the ride to school, that he's got to have $8 for this great Star Wars book. So I tell him that I need to go to the atm and maybe we'll look into it later. Then I agree to walk into the school to find an adult to give me more information. But Josiah gently leads me to the closed media center door which has a huge poster advertising the times the traveling scholastic book fair is open. He says, "See it's in there." and I hear in his voice the same yearning I felt at his age about a book fair at school. I remember walking around the small school library which had brand new books stacked on tables and I could take home any of them... if I had some money... which I did not. I don't recall ever having the money or having my parents come in and buy books for me.



As an adult I understand, there were four of us and my parents were busy trying to make ends meet. They did buy books for me, when they could and also other friends and family saw my fascination and began giving me books also. But I remember the school book fair, I remember touching the books, thumbing through a few and then when the browsing time was over going back to my classroom empty handed.



So I tell Josiah, perhaps later this evening during parent teacher conferences, daddy can buy the book, if its still there then. I patted his shoulder and told him I'd see him tonight after work. He nodded and went to class. So I go home and look at the list on the table next to my laptop. I log onto amazon and look up the book. It has 8 good reviews... then I call the school and find out they will open this 'store' to me when I come. So I go to the school and browse the great book fair. It was just me and another parent. I have Josiah's list and I seek out the Star Wars Heroes and am unimpressed. I pick up about six other books, some from his list and a couple I think he would like. I ask that my pile be held to the side, while I go get Jo from the cafeteria. When he sees me he's pleasantly surprised.



So we go into the book fair together. We have the whole room to ourselves and we can buy books! We were both giddy and we compared titles. I showed him why some of my selections were better, we compared prices and made our selections. Josiah tried to prolong my visit by saying I could probably stay and eat, or if I wanted I could volunteer to help the lunchroom staff. It was cute how he thought this might be appealing to me. I told him I'd all ready eaten and had to get ready for work. So I paid the darn near $30 for our blessed stack of brand new scholastic books. I allowed him to hold onto one thin Bakugan Brawlers book throughout the school day (which I promptly wrote his name inside).



I know for some people (probably most 'normal' people) this whole thing was silly and maybe even a waste of time, effort and money. But it was a great moment for me and my son and our shared book fetish. It may have taken me 27 years, (LOL) but the little girl in me finally got to take home a stack of books from the school book fair.